A Tanda Of
Tangos
By L.M. Steen The Tanda: A set of three to four tangos of a particular genre or composer of tango music, danced in succession with the same partner. If you happen to dance an entire tanda with an exceptionally good connection… Well, it’s heaven on earth.
The first thing to note when signing up for tango lessons is that there are variations of the tango: the traditional and the Argentinean being the most prominent. The Argentinean Tango is more subtle and sensual in movement where the dancers’ bodies literally make sensual contact with their partner fully or partially dressed while dancing in full view of others.
The student entering lessons for the first time must ask which is to be taught. Otherwise, there is a danger that the student may encounter unwanted complications during the term of the lessons. If the instructor turns the student’s internal thermostat up, then the student is most likely engaged in learning the Argentinean Tango. In which case, it is time to run for the hills or hire a therapist.
An interesting phenomenon about the Argentinean Tango is the number of women who “fall in love” with their dance partner on their first excursion into the dance, only to realize too late that is all an illusion which lasts twelve minutes at best.
Buenos Aires, the capital of Argentina and the favored center of the dance clubs that offer the sultry and hottest of tangos, is also reported to have the highest number of psychologists or psychiatrists per capita of any city in the world. The major occupation of these specialized therapists is to assist women who have fallen in love with their dance partner after those twelve minutes. Imagine the chaos to the body’s internal cooling system if the student is exposed to the heat of an instructor for extended periods of time.
Buenos Aires also appears to represent a narrow section of women who are actually narrow. Barbie Doll thin. If not already Barbie Doll thin, the student will be once addicted to the dance steps and the instructor, thereby forgetting to eat, sleep, and generally function in other areas of life.
In the tango, a woman must surrender herself completely to the dance – become malleable in the hands of a strong lead. Only a strong lead can make the dance seem totally effortless as his hands and body guide his partner without thinking. As any instructor knows.
And, if the woman submits completely to a good lead, she is pretty much guaranteed to experience the holy grail: the tango moment where time disappears and a bliss takes over.
American women seem particularly susceptible to the Argentinean Tango and its effects because very few have ever experienced dancing in such delectable intimacy to such beautifully moving music. Especially to a slower tango that requires fluid movements with hands that move smoothly across the body.
Because of the social customs, the Argentineans developed an ingenious way of asking any woman from clear across the room if she wishes to dance, and if she declines no one is embarrassed by the rejection. The technique is called “el cabeceo”. Loosely translated it means “the head-look” and it’s extremely subtle, yet powerfully effective once the recipient is familiar with the custom.
It’s in the eyes first, then in the timbre of the voice, and finally their countenance. Then movement occurs as the two bodies gravitate toward each other.
The best is when the sultry tango is danced as a committed couple. However, isn’t everything better when hearts are in tune to the same piece of music?
WARNING: The danger of excessive heat increases, no matter now innocent the circumstances, if the novice or student sleeps in close proximity with the teacher. No therapy is yet available for this error in judgment although cold packs should be applied immediately
WARNING: If that grail has occurred, it's time to cease with the lessons. Otherwise an addiction may occur.
“Mother, did you check your emails?”
Wilson hadn’t even said “hello” to her. His long-distance voice was slightly lost on his cell phone anyway, but a greeting might have been nice.
“You know, young man, just because you are my eldest doesn’t mean you get to run my life,” Maddy responded, chuckling to her son as she sat on her bed. “Somebody needs to,” he laughed. “You don’t always seem to know what’s going on.”
“I take it you sent something?”
“Yes. I sent you my itinerary for the next several months, but thought I better call anyway. Between working on your music and helping those men online then talking to that tango guy, you lose track of time.”
Wilson cleared his throat on the other end of the line while Maddy opened her emails. Sure enough, there it was.
“Sorry,” she apologized. “There have been so many emails lately that I seem to have missed it.”
“Mom, have you been out of the house?”
Uh… Maddy hesitated, thinking. She was practicing honesty. Not that she had been dishonest at any time in her life, but this type required figuring out one’s own motives and taking responsibility. In her search for that answer, nothing came to mind.
“Uh…”
“Mom,” he repeated patiently, “give it up. Other than the store for food and to Church which I know you wouldn’t miss, have you been out of the house?”
“I’ve been to the Boise Temple every month – and twice for weddings!”
“Other than that…” he said slowly. “Anything social?”
“For your information, I will have to now – at least twice a week for a while,” she announced with some satisfaction. “We are starting the auditions for the musical I wrote, the one the local theatre here in McCall has decided to do as a fund raiser.”
“Hey!! That’s GREAT!” he yelled.
Maddy’s hand automatically jerked the phone away from her ear. “You don’t have to sound quite so happy about it.”
“Mom, you’ve been hiding up there in the woods long enough. Go to town. Meet someone besides Linda and Henry and Alice and Jane—”
“You mean a guy,” she interrupted.
“Not exactly, Mom,” Wilson replied, his voice winding down. “Maybe not. I couldn’t blame you if you never wanted anyone again. But I don’t think that isolating yourself is healthy either.”
Maddy leaned back on the pillows on her bed, silent for a moment, while Wilson waited.
“I’ve made real progress, Willie. Really I have. I’m handling being around men just fine and even going places once in a while with Linda. You know I’m involved in the Singles Activities now.”
“Yeah, but you go home before it’s over and don’t let anybody talk to you. And don’t try to tell me otherwise. You still working out?”
“Of course,” she answered, thinking of her punching bag.
“It’s okay, Mom, I think it’s fine. Just don’t kill yourself while you’re alone in the cabin, okay?”
Maddy smiled to herself. “I’ll tell you what, young man, you find a girl you want to marry, and actually get married, and I’ll go on a date with some nice old guy. Deal?”
“Sheesh, Mother, I’m only thirty-four!” Wilson had obviously held the phone away from his head and muttered a few oaths. “Okay! I’ll email Tango and talk to him. BUT I’m not promising anything.”
“Wilson, you aren’t your father and aren’t going to be like him – ever. You hear me?” she pointed out, knowing the real problem. “You have more of me in you than that. More importantly, you see the difference. Your father probably never will because he keeps blaming his problems on everyone else but himself. Right?”
“Yeah, I see that. But Dad didn’t just leave the Church and us, Mother. He lied and cheated and tried to drag you down with him. I haven’t, but it’s hard to separate the healthy from the unhealthy sometimes.”
“So, you think that getting involved with a number of women then leaving them is healthy?”
A long pause filled with occasional gasps occurred on the other end of the line. Maddy waited while Wilson cried – something he seemed to do frequently in the last few years.
“Willie? Where are you?”
“On the top of Pikes Peak,” he choked. “It’s a beautiful… July day out here. Not so hot yet.”
“Willie,” she said softly, “you come down off your mountain, and I’ll come down off mine.”
“I… I hear ya…”
The conversation broke down but the line stayed open while Maddy waited. Of her two children – both boys – Wilson was the one who hadn’t recovered from the events surrounding her divorce. The boys had tried to move in with her about four years ago when the unfortunate events that precipitated her divorce had occurred, but she had forbidden it. Johnson was married to Cassie and trying to finish school and Wilson… Wilson had used Maddy’s hospitalization as an opportunity to slide out of his relationship of the moment. Oh yes, he did care very much about his mother, but Maddy didn’t see him growing if he lived with her.Consequently, after the division of the marriage property in the divorce, Maddy had moved from Boise to McCall. Johnson had finished his ophthalmologic training and, at age thirty-two, was now the proud father of twins and living in Boise, Idaho. Wilson, now thirty-four, had moved out of a drafting firm he had been in and started his own consulting business in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Well educated, both boys were financially sound. Their hearts, however, especially Wilson’s, were still floundering.
“Willie?”
“Yeah, I’m here. I’m fine,” he replied, sniffing. “I’ll email Tango tonight. If he can help you with accepting Dad as screwed up as he is then your tango can help me. I gotta do something. Right?”
“Yes, you do. See your father as someone who has become a pitiful victim of his own making,” she explained softly. “He is reaping the rewards of his choices now—”
“I won’t see him and don’t tell me I have to! It took everything I had not to beat him to a pulp! I hate that woman he’s with!”
“You don’t have to see him. Or her. You don’t have to do anything. Whatever you choose is between you and your father… Maybe you better just talk to Tango.”
“If I’m going to do that, I better get off this mountain. I have to get down before dark anyway. Talk to you later.”
The connection closed, but Maddy knew that her son wasn’t through crying yet. Anger with his father’s behavior stewed at the top of Wilson’s boiling pot, but deeper inside the kettle her son was terrified of becoming like his father.
With all the intellect Wilson had, he didn’t have the ability yet to see that his father’s anger, addictions, or actions were only about himself, not his sons or Maddy. Granted, she and her sons had to deal with the fallout and the hurt, but, somehow, she had been able to see that anger meant blaming someone. And, blaming someone meant that a judgment had been made. Instead, she had taken responsibility for her own thoughts, her own happiness, her own mistakes, and had left the judging to the Lord.
In the quiet of the mountains, Maddy had gone online about eighteen months ago and met Tango who had widened her vision of accepting others as they are. That view had given her a unique perspective in loving others without personal motives, no expectations of them. She envisioned the Savior as He forgave others who spat upon him.
That small concept expressed a whole world about human behavior. Something Maddy heard preached frequently from the pulpit yet so few understood. Once she had finally understood that she wasn’t responsible for her ex-husband Derrick’s pornography addiction, nor his final act of aggression toward her, the freedom had been intoxicating. What Derrick had become was simply his choice as he sank further and further away from his family while claiming to be a victim. Admittedly, he was a victim, but one of his own making.
She returned to her living room and the piano to work on her new composition. In a few minutes she would have her emotions together again, too. The music always did that for her. That, and living on the side of a mountain south of McCall, Idaho, alongside the Payette National Forest. Healing had brought with it some small desires to have a good man like Tango in her life, but she knew that wasn’t probable. Not at her age, nor in this small town.
Maddy’s five foot four was topped with a curly mop of silver hair. She was also a lumpy size eight. Lumpy because she would always have the bust line and some soft spots. Maybe not the best of things to have if one is looking for another spouse, she rationalized. However, Tango was adamant that people who loved unselfishly could look past the physical and see the possibilities in others.A few minutes later, she looked up from the piano, the cabin quiet. Perhaps Wilson was right – Johnson, too. Perhaps her life was a little too cloistered. The stillness in the cabin was interrupted slightly by the sound of the wind coming through the trees. Perfect walking weather – just her kind. However, Maddy reached for the keys to her yellow Jeep Wrangler Unlimited instead and headed for town. This was the dawn of a new era: dinner out by herself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Maddy arrived back home, the hour was late, the Summer sun echoing its evening light in the sky above the mountains. The cabin was dark when she pulled into the driveway then pushed the garage door opener. In the waning light above her, she scanned the yard for bears before pulling into the garage and shutting the door. Bears didn’t particularly frighten her, but they were cause for caution when she went out onto her deck after dark. She sent a couple of emails out then was ready for bed when the crickle song sounded on her laptop signaling her that Tango was waiting to chat. She laughed out loud while typing in that she had gone to dinner by herself.
>You did what?!
>I went out to dinner. Nothing special.
>McCall, that is a big step for you. What’s up?
>I just decided that maybe it was time, for petesake! Besides, I suddenly noticed how quiet the cabin is. I love it usually, but this time… This time it felt empty, I guess.
>That’s why people find each other, McCall. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely, but it’s usually easier to have the alone moments with someone. Life with a good someone is richer.
>Maybe, but you know that the good men in the church are married. Other than you I mean. AND, where would I find one who knew how to really be truthful with me? I’m too old, Tango! Men want someone younger.
>You keep telling yourself that, but I wonder. Have you met anyone yet?
>No, I haven’t met anyone and you know it.
>But you are working on the activities committee for your Stake so you must be meeting some people. When do rehearsals for the musical start?
>It isn’t rehearsals yet, Tango, just the try-outs and they start tomorrow night. It’s going to be difficult because of the various people needing to be involved so…we’ll see.
>You are still emailing your list? Yes?
>Yes and added another young man who wants to talk. I love it. Why would I want another man when I have my email buddies?
>Maybe someone after the lights go out? Or someone to sit with at Church? Perhaps, someone who values you, McCall.
Her fingers paused. Someone who values her? At that moment, tears seemed to forcefully push their way into her eyes, her laptop swimming in her vision. Someone who values her. No. No one would.
>McCall?
>Sorry, just thinking. Gotta go, Tango. I’m tired…
Without waiting for his usual sign off, Maddy closed the window then turned her laptop off. Leaning back on the headboard of the bed unleashed the buckets of water in her eyes.Wilson wasn’t the only one who cried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ms. Madison Russell wasn’t prepared for the try-outs. Not at all. In fact, Maddy would rather have stayed home or perhaps gone to India for a while the minute Henry yelled at her.
“Maddy!” Henry yelled up at where she was standing on the stage.
“You sing the female lead with the next two guys on the list. Let Linda’s voice rest.”
Maddy nodded, accepting the necessity. So far, Linda had been singing all the female leads. All of the group singers had been auditioned and selected. The decision had been made to keep Robert Walker’s beautiful tenor voice as the secondary male lead for the second love twist. The last male voice to choose was the lead singer – a baritone for the primary love twist.Maddy’s eyes glanced down at the list in her hand. Who was next? Unfortunately, at the sight of the name, her feet stumbled and she fell against him.
“Maddy! Careful,” he cautioned, chuckling. “The other fellow seems to have left so I think I’m next. Or last.”
Maddy’s brain was sure there was a question in there somewhere but couldn’t figure out an answer so she just nodded at the dark eyes looking down into her sort of green ones.
“Maddy!” Henry yelled again.
“What?!” she shrieked a little too loudly.
“Just do the ending part so Alex can do his.”
“Uh…excuse me, Bro. Roca, but what are you doing here?” was the only thing she could think of – right into his chin.
He smiled down at her then had a very logical reason. “I’m trying out. Isn’t this the try-outs for your musical?”
“Uh… perhaps,” was all that came out.
Bro. Alejandro Roca pointed downstage as the keyboard and various portions of the orchestra started up under the direction of Henry. Maddy coughed then hacked then sighed. Then sang.“To wake up in a dream…” she sang, letting her throaty soprano flow into the song about loving yet not wanting to.
Then, Alex started the male lead solo that would lead the two characters together under the moonlight in a park setting.“A heart like hers can’t be mine…yet my heart wants to love her…” belted out of Alejandro Roca in the most beautiful baritone voice!
Maddy stumbled, her water bottle hit the floor with full force.
Alex stopped and grabbed her again.“Maddy, you need to sit down!” he pronounced quickly then pushed her to the prop bench.
“Maddy? You alright?” came from Alice at the keyboard. “Did you eat?”
Maddy simply nodded her head, unable to speak at the moment.
“Hey, Maddy!” Henry yelled enthusiastically, “I think we have the female and the male lead! You and Alex! Your voices match perfectly! You even look perfect!! It’s done!”
“No!” she yelled back in self defense, “Linda is doing the lead!”
“Not on your life! Not with that voice of yours,” was the persistent reply.
“Is there a problem?” came out of the baritone voice of Alejandro Roca, her occasional nemesis on the Stake Singles Activities Committee!Other than the purple tint to her skin, no, there was no problem. And she said so.
“No!! Uh…no problem, I think,” she replied more calmly. “Henry! I’m not doing the lead!” she shrieked.
At this point Maddy not only stood up, she knocked Alejandro Roca in the chest, her papers went to the floor, the bench fell backwards, and her dignity slithered out the stage door into the late evening sun. So much for calm.
“I’m not!”
“You are!”
“I’m not!”
“Get a grip, Maddy! YOU ARE! I’m the director and what I say goes!”
“Maybe I make a suggestion?”
Both Henry and Maddy turned on Alejandro Roca and snapped, “NO!”
By the time she left for home, Maddy was playing the female lead and Alejandro Roca was playing the male lead. She prayed for a bear in the front yard!
